


Wunschdenken

by Quecksilver_Eyes



Series: Narnia Musings [39]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Gen, Poetry, a queen that is known long after she walked away, a sound that is heard long after it's been made, all that could be, all that has never been, an image that is seen long after it has faded, and walking away from it all, as if the world rested atop your shoulders, beten: lit. to pray, betteln: lit. to beg, bitten: lit. to ask, groaning and heavy and cracking from where you hold it my love, her hands in your hair and all the knives out of her reach, like Lucy's eyes dark and hungry and tear drowned, like a lion baring its teeth and your bare neck just under it, like the world shifting and tumbling and turning as you are frozen; still, like your cheeks crusted with salt, like your knees on the cold stone floor, on forgetting, on longing for things long lost, or rather; on looking at the world and your life and the shards at your feet, sehnsucht: longing yearning craving pining for all that was, splinters of old wood in your palms and a prayer like acid on your lips, the collar of her dress an itchy stuffy thing, until your knees give in, weltschmerz: lit. world pain, widerhall: lit. echo, your lips stained red and your feet aching, your petticoats heavy and your dresses unlike anything you're used to
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-07-20 11:09:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19991170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quecksilver_Eyes/pseuds/Quecksilver_Eyes
Summary: Wunschdenken: lit. wishful thinking, wishing for all that could have been, all that might have been, all that the world could have to offer a queen who didn't go on a hunt one humid autumn morning, all Narnia could be for a twelve year old queen; uncrowned





	1. Sehnsucht

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sehnsucht: longing, yearning, craving, pining for all that was, all that could be, all that has never been, all that can never be again

I wish I could go back  
to being twelve years old  
with curled hair  
and a gap between my teeth  
snow on my lips  
a prophecy on my shoulders

I wish I was a child again  
and could believe in a lion  
a stone table  
– a bow.

~~I cannot.~~

I will not.

And yet here I am  
aching;  
yearning for a world  
in a wardrobe  
a train station  
a cave

Longing  
to go back home.


	2. Widerhall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Widerhall: lit. echo - a sound that is heard long after it's been made, an image that is seen long after it has faded, a queen that is known long after she walked away

I know this crumbling stone  
I know this aching soil  
I've seen it;  
in the echoes of my memory

I know this cracking marble floor  
I’ve heard this sighing wind  
I knew this husk  
when it was vibrant  
and alive


	3. beten - bitten - betteln

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beten: lit. to pray (like your knees on the cold stone floor, splinters of old wood in your palms and a prayer like acid on your lips, your petticoats heavy, your dresses unlike anything you're used to.)  
> bitten: lit. to ask (like Lucy's eyes, dark and hungry and tear drowned, the collar of her dress an itchy, stiff thing, her hands in your hair and all the knives out of her reach)  
> betteln: lit. to beg (like your cheeks crusted with salt, your lips stained red, your feet aching, like a lion baring its teeth and your bare neck just under it, like the world shifting and tumbling and turning as you are frozen; still)

to the grieving school girl,  
the queen with a run in her nylons:  
  
listen.

_a prayer?_

a plea.

the radiant sun  
rising high in the south

the clear skies  
of the cold north

the great woods  
deep in the west

the glistening sea  
stretching towards the utter east

and you; in between it all  
will you save us?  
  
_I don't know._

susan.  
susan, my love  
will you come home?  
will you come back?

_I don’t know._

[where is your home, oh queen of narnia?]  
[how do you wear your crown?]  
[what is your weapon, miss pevensie?]  
[did you forget, su?]  
[why can’t you let your sister play her games? they harm no one.]

susan. the world will tumble without you.  
susan, come **home.**

 _and what about me? I’m tumbling, too._  
_will you catch me, after I’ve rubbed my hands raw_  
 _saving you?_  
 _or will it be like this;_  
 _always._


	4. Weltschmerz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weltschmerz: lit. world pain, as if the world rested atop your shoulders, groaning and heavy and cracking from where you hold it, my love, until your knees give in

my darling child;  
the world has kept on turning  
without you.

my dear;   
it has shifted right under your feet  
and slipped out of your hands  
  
welcome home, welcome back  
now save us; again.


End file.
